Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: NEW OFFICE POLICY

  1. #1
    Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    well nowadays at home....
    Age
    26
    Posts
    4,427
    Rep Power
    0

    NEW OFFICE POLICY

    NEW OFFICE POLICY 2008

    DRESS CODE:
    YOU ARE ADVISED TO COME TO WORK DRESSED ACCORDING TO YOUR SALARY. IF WE SEE YOU WEARING PRADA SHOES AND CARRYING A GUCCI BAG, WE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE DOING WELL FINANCIALLY AND THEREFORE YOU DO NOT NEED A RAISE.
    IF YOU DRESS POORLY, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR MONEY BETTER, SO THAT YOU MAY BUY NICER CLOTHES, AND THEREFORE YOU DO NOT NEED A RAISE. IF YOU DRESS JUST RIGHT, YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED TO BE AND THEREFORE YOU DO NOT NEED A RAISE.

    SICK DAYS:
    WE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT A DOCTOR'S STATEMENT AS PROOF OF SICKNESS. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU ARE ABLE TO COME TO WORK.


     


    PERSONAL DAYS:
    EACH EMPLOYEE WILL RECEIVE 104 PERSONAL DAYS A YEAR. THEY ARE CALLED SATURDAY'S AND SUNDAY'S.

    BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
    THIS IS NO EXCUSE FOR MISSING WORK. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR DEAD FRIENDS, RELATIVES OR COWORKERS. EVERY EFFORT SHOULD BE MADE TO HAVE NON-EMPLOYEES ATTEND TO THE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS. IN RARE CASES WHERE EMPLOYEE INVOLVEMENT IS NECESSARY, THE FUNERAL SHOULD BE SCHEDULED IN THE LATE AFTERNOON. WE WILL BE GLAD TO ALLOW YOU TO WORK THROUGH YOUR LUNCH HOUR AND SUBSEQUENTLY LEAVE ONE HOUR EARLY.

    BATHROOM BREAKS:
    ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TIME IS BEING SPENT ON THE TOILET. THERE IS NOW A
    STRICT THREE MINUTE TIME LIMIT IN THE STALLS. AT THE END OF THE THREE MINUTES, AN ALARM WILL SOUND , THE TOILET PAPER ROLL WILL RETRACT, THE STALL DOOR WILLOPEN, AND A PICTURE WILL BE TAKEN.
    AFTER YOUR SECOND OFFENSE, YOUR PICTURE WILL BE POSTED ON THE COMPANY BULLETIN UNDER THE "CHRONIC OFFENDERS" CATEGORY. ANYONE CAUGHT SMILING IN THE PICTURE WILL BE SECTIONED UNDER THE COMPANY'S MENTALHEALTH POLICY.

    LUNCH BREAK:
    SKINNY PEOPLE GET 30 MINUTES FOR LUNCH, AS THEY NEED TO EAT MORE, SO
    THAT THEY CAN LOOK HEALTHY.NORMAL SIZE PEOPLE GET 15 MINUTES FOR LUNCH TO GET A BALANCED MEAL TOMAINTAIN THEIR AVERAGE FIGURE.
    CHUBBY PEOPLE GET 5 MINUTES FOR LUNCH, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THE TIME
    NEEDED TO DRINK A SLIM FAST.

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOYALTY TO OUR COMPANY. WE ARE HERE TO PROVIDE A POSITIVE EMPLOYMENT EXPERIENCE. THEREFORE, ALL QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS, COMPLAINTS, FRUSTRATIONS, IRRITATIONS, AGGRAVATIONS, INSINUATIONS, ALLEGATIONS, ACCUSATIONS, CONTEMPLATIONS, CONSTERNATIONS AND INPUT SHOULD BE DIRECTED ELSEWHERE



  2. #2
    unnikrisb4u
    Guest
    clever Management..

  3. #3
    Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    well nowadays at home....
    Age
    26
    Posts
    4,427
    Rep Power
    0

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)







Similar Threads

  1. Policy of Pirates
    By Solcius in forum Talk Shaak
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-01-2009, 09:51 AM
  2. GIRLS POLICY
    By Varun_Abhi in forum Jokes
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 12-22-2008, 09:31 PM
  3. New Office Policy
    By Varj_29 in forum Jokes
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-18-2008, 08:59 PM
  4. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-26-2007, 11:06 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  



Get Daily Forum Updates

Get Most Amazing E-mails Daily
Full of amazing emails daily in your inbox
Join Nidokidos E-mail Magazine
Join Nidokidos Official Page on Facebook


Like us on Facebook | Get Website Updates | Get our E-Magazine