A sophisticated Gujarati lady walks into a tattoo shop on Tottenham Court Road in London, and sits down. The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her.

To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her designer silk sari and points to her right inner thigh - very very high up.

'Right here,' she says, 'I want you to tattoo a clay lamp and underneath it I want the word 'Diwali.'

Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and says, 'On this side, I want you to tattoo an evergreen tree with lights and tinsel and an angel on top and underneath it I want the word 'Christmas.'

The owner looks at her. 'Ooh, lady, it is none of my business, but that is probably the most unusual request I have ever heard. Why in the world do you want to do that?

'Well,' the lady says, 'I'm sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there is never anything good to enjoy between Diwali and Christmas.....!!!