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Thread: Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods

  1. #1

    Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods

    On Sears hairdryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.
    (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (The shoplifter special!)


    On a bar of Dove soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.
    (and that would be how

    On some Swann frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.
    (But it’s *just* a suggestion!)

    On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.
    (The big one or the little one

    On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessertprinted on bottom of the box)
    Do not turn upside down.
    (Too late! You lose!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.
    (Are you sure??? Let’s experiment.)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.
    (But wouldn’t that save more time
    (Whose body

    On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

    On Nytol sleep aid:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.
    (One would hope!)

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.
    (As opposed to use in outer space.)

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.
    (Now I’m curious.)

    On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.
    (but no peas

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    (have a lobotomy)

    On a Swedish chainsaw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
    (What is this, a home castration kit

    On a child’s Superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
    (That’s right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

  2. #2
    old one barish..
    thanx for the posting...

  3. #3
    Member Array jojo_patty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Country: Sri Lanka
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    Repost, but it's alright, those were good

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