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Thread: Sad, i am

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
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    May 2012
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    Sad, i am

    Sad – I am
    I had it once,

    A long time ago
    But now it seems as if it is gone
    It feels like a loose knot in my life
    Has become undone
    A knot,

    That was once so tight,
    Now it seems so slack
    how I wish I could have

    Some happy times back
    all day, I sit at home,

    And I feel so sad and lonely
    it would have been great

    If that was all,
    If only the zombies
    On the outside wall,
    Could stop their call
    Then, the living dead –
    They’re all in my mind
    They don’t seem to be
    At all very kind
    so many questions

    Are floating around in my head
    So many confusions rains down,

    It literally pours
    a can of worms,

    Pandora's Box,
    I have opened all the doors
    there is no sign of anyone who can help me
    I feel I have no sense of feeling or being aware of myself
    who is there?

    Where can I find the answers?
    Why am I like I am?

    Who am I?
    What am I?
    Am I experiencing a dream?

    Worse still,
    Am I the dreamer?
    Am I real?

    Do they love me?
    Do they care about me?
    Or am I just a thought?
    Am I not too complex for them?
    My brains works like a computer,
    how and where do my thoughts start?

    Where do these thoughts end?
    What makes me do this to myself?

    Why do I do this to my family?
    What makes me say hurtful things?
    I know I have a beautiful and caring wife
    Am I not supposed to say?

    That she is the essence of my life?
    I know I over-analyze,
    I can't help it
    I am just like that
    my mind is always thinking,

    Analyzing, always reeling
    Seeing things that do not exist
    I sit and think and find myself
    Gazing into space,
    I sit, I wonder
    Why can’t I accept the people?
    Around me,
    Their wisdom they share with me?
    Why do I always think negatively?

    Or read different connotations
    In what others have to say about me
    why do I not accept the answers?

    That are put before me
    I know I should free myself

    From my mind
    that I should not ever pretend

    That all is well and fine
    I want to function normally

    Without anxiety,
    Without stress,
    I want to feel needed
    And accepted
    For who I really am
    I want to be understood,

    Be a regular guy
    I cry out to Allah
    I want to be better, Wallah
    Allah answers me, I know
    I feel Allah’s love flow
    I worship Allah well
    Allah answers my prayers
    I can tell
    Allah’s blessings are uncountable
    I see it in my son and daughters
    I see the blessings of Allah
    When I look at pretty Thanaa
    Oh Allah, help me
    Get through this difficulty
    Help me regain my strength
    Function as I should
    Yaa! Allah!
    Only you make me strong
    Bring me back
    To where I belong
    I praise Thee, I worship Thee
    Thou art my Lord
    Thou know my condition,
    Oh tell me when?
    Will all this negativity end?
    Written: Thursday 8 March 2012 – Fatima Abduroauf


  2. #2
    Administrator Array admin's Avatar
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    good poetry fatima

  3. #3
    Member Array rabia iqbal rabi's Avatar
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    May 2012
    Karachi, Pakistan, Pakistan
    Country: Pakistan
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    Dear Fatima very very nice poetry with heart clicking words.

  4. #4
    Member Array carefree's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
    Country: Canada
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    Very nice and thoughtful sharing Fatima....
    Please keep it up.
    God Bless you......

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