Arguing with your Boss is like
wrestling with a pig in mud.
After a while you realize that
while you are getting dirty,
the pig is actually enjoying it.
Help a man when he is in trouble and
he will remember you
when he is in trouble again.
Complex problems have simple,
easy to understand wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating,
I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.
Behind every successful woman,
is a man who is surprised.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness,
didn't know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems,
but then again, neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because
it is illegal to shoot them.
I'm not a complete idiot,
there're still some parts missing!
Forgive your enemies but
remember their names
The number of people watching you
is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your action.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and
they sent a piece of my finger
to my father.
- He said he wanted more proof.