In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."