What makes: ”Ooooooo“?
An Cow without lips.
Female friend to her blonde girl friend; ” I went for a pregnancy test yesterday“ Blonde friend: ”Oh, was it difficult?“
Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“
A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel:
"Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"
Granny gets on to her bicycle…her little grandson asked her: ”Where are you going to, Granny?“ She replied:“ to the graveyard, my boy“. Grandson: “but who is going to bring the bicycle back?“
Definition of a Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Definition of a Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
Definition of a Divorce : Future tense of marriage
Definition of a Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Definition of a Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight