Tired of unwanted advice from friends and relatives? Here are a few tips on how you can get them to stop
Having a baby and starting a family is stressful enough on its own, without having to deal with people constantly telling you how to run your life or raise your child. Often, if you are married into a joint family or are living on your own with your husband or wife, but are close to your in-laws, they will want to give you advice. However, someone giving you advice that is reasonable and that will actually help you to sort out stress is one thing, but when people start nagging you and demanding that you listen to them it can drive one up the wall. But if you are dealing with family you canít always ask them to back off.
So in order to give them the message and still be polite about it, just do the following:
AT LEAST LISTEN
If you feel someone like your motherin-law or an aunt is asking you to do things differently in terms of handling your husband or wife or baby, try listening. If their advice is reasonable then heed it. Often when someone asks you to change the way you are dealing with your immediate family, itís natural to be defensive if you feel that they are judging you; but chances are you are not being criticised; rather, the other person is sharing what they feel to be valuable insight. So listen before jumping to conclusions, if their advice is unreasonable and baseless, just listen and end it at that.
If the person giving you the advice is an older person in the house or just a difficult person to deal with in general, your best option would be to ignore what they say. Donít let it affect you. You need to understand that if this person is the difficult personality type, no matter how much you ask him or her to stop, they wonít. In fact, they will probably persist even more if they know it irks you. In such cases, just ignore everything you say and eventually they will get the hint.
Even if you donít agree with any of the advice or lectures being given to you, but see some truth in it, agree with that part. Pick on the one thing you agree with and let them know that you agree with them. This will not only make them stop, they will, probably feel that their work is done. It will also keep things amiable.
If any relative suggests something small like dressing the baby a certain way or keeping things around the house in a certain way and their demand is not ridiculous, indulge them. This way if they give you some really bad advice you can choose that time to react and disagree with them. Because you agree with them on a few occasions they will understand that you are open to a few suggestions but not all. So in the future they will know better than to insist you do everything they tell you.
AVOID SENSITIVE ISSUES
If you are sensitive or touchy about being nagged regarding certain issues, then just change the topic the minute someone starts giving you unwanted advice or suggestions. This way you can avoid a lot of bad blood.
EDUCATE THE OTHER PERSON
If your extended family is insisting that you listen to them and wonít take no for an answer, your best weapon is to use knowledge against them. For example, if they are asking you to treat your child in a certain way which is based on an old wivesí tale; find out from a reliable source the truth behind their belief and prove them wrong with substantial evidence. Arguing and throwing a tantrum wonít help, but if you give them concrete proof of why you are right, they will have no choice but to back off.
So if someone is giving you useful advice listen, but if they cross the line, be stern and ask them to stay out of your affairs.