She heard it in her head; Playing like a litany. But she wanted it said like a prayer, she wanted his lips to tremble and his eyes to water when he said it. She wanted him ruined and on his knees when he said it. She imagined him begging for it, broken and on her mercy. She fantasized, that she would then turn her back, and leaves him to wallow in the endless mire of guilt and sorrow.
Why did she it wish it to be like this?
‘Ask me no questions please I plead you. Sanity has long deserted me. I stand on the verge of a nightmare and I fear taking a step forward, I will be sucked in the whirlpool of tainted emotions. I dread a back foot; I don’t wish to relive the old. Not again the pain and passion, not again the love and loss’.
She can still feel the flaky taste of the sinking feeling in her heart, as she had been there in another life time.
In another life time when everything was painted a passion red. In another life time when their eyes had met and sparks flew that ignited all consuming heat. Promises were made in the heat of the moment and conveniently forgotten the life after. Stars were dreamed, and in the life after, the dust of fallen stars still haunt her. In another life time she was vulnerable bundle of raw nerves, brushed ruthlessly with the edges of reality.
She had been saying the prayers silently in her heart wishing him all the fortunes and smiles that wishes could buy! She had tried to seek out the hate, but it was entwined with love so closely. A hundred Lives she died, and the hate still coursed through her blood, but so did mad love. The thin line of sanity defining hate and love apart had finally faded into the crooked folds of her mind and she hate him and loved him so fiercely that she was not sure herself whether she still wanted him to Say ‘ I am sorry, I broke your heart’
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