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Thread: Wife & Husband

  1. #1
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    Wife & Husband

    Guys, don't say you weren't warned after this..hehehe!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so
    much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
    figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.
    I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
    of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
    just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
    I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"


    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The
    very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We
    went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department
    store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
    expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her
    just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so
    I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department

    where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
    short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
    for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
    nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
    anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
    baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
    this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as
    a man enough for
    me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
    look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for
    I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a

    frozen hell.

  2. #2
    Member Array jojo_patty's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Country: Sri Lanka
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    ROFL!!! That's nasty!!!

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