Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Teacher to class: A for?
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di
Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment...
warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50.
When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open
Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! How many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. Santa was observing him. Suddenly a star falls, seeing that Santa shouted, "Kya nishana lagaya hai!"
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
A nurse in hospital asks the patient with broken-down head:
Name? Sameer Bhatia.
Date of birth? 06 September 1965 .
Married? No Car accident.
When in life, you wake up and you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.
Soon after their wedding, the bride told her groom, "Darling, now that we are married, I want you to fire your secretary."
"But honey," replied the groom, "you used to be a secretary yourself."
"Yes," she continued, "and that's why I want you to fire her!"
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
Wife is sweet, when she is new. Sweeter, when she is true. And she is the sweetest, when she is someone else's wife..
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear."
The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."
His wife said: "Be an angel and let me drive." So he did, and now he is.
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.
Women are confusing...
Before marriage they expect a man, after marriage they suspect a man, after he dies they respect the man
Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly
Girl: Have you seen my identical twin sister anywhere?
Santa: No. How does she look like ??
Ravan decides to apologise to Ram.
Ram opens the door.
Ravan blankly starres at Ram & can you guess whate he is thinking?
Sala kiss moonh se maafi maangu
On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god...
after that the letters reversed
Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can't b heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls??
People who do lots of work...make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work...make less mistakes,
People who do no work....make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes...get promoted
A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what is a lover?"
"A lover?" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov.... Lover.... Oh, my God!"
She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet door. She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a man fell out from the closet.
i look at the moon
the moon is beautiful
i look at you
i rather look at the moon again
QAYAMAT K DIN JAB FARISHTOON NE SUB SE KAHA K APNEY APNEY GUNAH PAPER PER LIKHO, TU JAB SUB NE APNEY GUNAH LIKH LIEY TU ACHANAK TUMHARI AWAZ AAYI ............ ., Supliment Plz
Sincere Apology: If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
why do monkeys love banana.... - oops i am so sorry ........ - thats your personal matter!
U r very special 4 me... U should b safe always... U should b safe my dear... I cant b wid u all time.... so pls b careful wenever u jump from tree 2 tree...
jaha dosti vaha pyar, jaha pyar vaha ishq, jaha ishq, vaha mohabbat, jaha mohabbat vaha judai, jaha judai vaha dard, jaha dard vaha MOOV laga lena.
wat did computer think wen u sit front of it?he think that: INTEL INSIDE, ****** OUTSIDE.
First of first is first of you,
Then there are zeros two
First of last is last of you,
Now you tell me what are you?
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.