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Thread: If taare zameen par is made by these directors

  1. #1

    If taare zameen par is made by these directors

    IF Karan Johar made Taare
    Obvious starcast:
    Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).
    Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for
    Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable).
    Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad.
    Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role
    is ultra minute, he can afford it).
    It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.
    The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for
    the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom
    running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in
    so many other movies, SRK would get someone else's girl.
    It would have one dance number.
    The film would be titled ' Kuch Taare Zameen Par.'

    If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare
    Obvious starcast:
    Salman as the teacher.
    Rani as the mother.
    Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets.
    The school would be nothing short of Harvard university.
    An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.
    Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.
    The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even
    though that does not make a f***ing difference.
    The film would cost 60 crores.


    If Farah Khan made Taare
    Obvious starcast:
    SRK as the teacher (yawn)..
    In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the
    interval point. In Farah's version, SRK would be on
    screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and
    would be introduced in the first scene itself.
    The story would be changed to make sure the above
    happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher
    who helps a kid fight dyslexia..
    To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a
    romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh
    idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another teacher
    and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy
    moments there and you have romance and comedy
    settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the
    kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the
    baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm quite an imaginative
    writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from
    scratch in two weeks straight.
    The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny
    image of the kid in the background.

    If Rakesh Roshan made Taare
    Obvious starcast:
    Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.
    Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond
    science fiction these days, this film would
    have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid
    would have alienositis or something, a
    condition induced due to him witnessing an
    alien abduction.
    Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he
    would be a physics teacher, and instead of
    asking kids to be creative, he would ask them
    to challenge the science we know.
    In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to
    open their minds and make whatever they want
    outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a
    boat, would end up making a working spaceship
    Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making
    a full fledged version of the kid's
    prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and
    asking them to give the kid his powers back.
    The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan
    ripped off from some world music.
    The film's name would again start with a K..
    probably ' Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par'
    The director would make sure Hrithik gets to
    show all his abilities. This would mean a
    scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and
    a dance competition in the end, instead of an
    arts competition.

    If Priyadarshan made Taare:
    Obvious starcast:
    Akshay Kumar as the teacher.
    Paresh Rawal as the kid's dad.
    It would be a brainless comedy. The
    kid's dyslexia would be made fun of.
    Half the times the parents will be
    running after the kid from one room to
    the other and that, in the director's
    opinion, would be funny.
    The film will be full of sex jokes. So
    for example, when Akshay would come to
    the parents telling them that their son
    has dyslexia, the ignorant father would
    say something inappropriate like 'iss
    umar mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha
    boys school mein padha hai!'. And yes,
    the director would think it is funny.
    In the climax of the film all the
    characters in the film would run around
    in the amphitheater for no reason,
    spilling colors on each other. That's
    where the film will end, without any
    logical conclusion.
    And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote
    like an epileptic himself making us
    question the boy's mental abilities

  2. #2
    nice one saaagarr... well truly this tare zameen par is the best..

  3. #3
    yea a huge round of applause for Mr Aamir Khan !
    well i really got to remember my childhood...
    specially the nose one part !!

  4. #4
    good guesses.....
    nice post..!!!

  5. #5
    Aamir is the best

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