A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?”
He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on and checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more countries... He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell...
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, What do they do here?"
He was told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour..Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells---so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" asked the man.
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in and signs the register and then goes to the canteen!
Sharing a Bed
Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"
"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk.
"Whatever, whatever you shay."
So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.
"Ahh," says Santa, "Now we can get some sleep at last."
As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.
"Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says Banta.
"There's somebody in my bed too!" says Santa.
"Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the beds!" says Banta.
They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually Santa throws Banta on the floor.
"ALL RIGHT!!" Santa shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed."
"You're lucky," says Banta, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired to fight any more."
"Well, never mind," says Santa, "Why don't you just come and share my bed. Let's get some sleep round here."