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Thread: Call Centre Jokes

  1. #1
    leogal
    Guest

    Call Centre Jokes

    PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:
    (1)
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

    Customer: "Ok."

    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (2)


    Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

    Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (3)


    Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

    Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."

    Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

    Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

    Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

    Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

    Customer: "What?"

    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

    Customer: "No..."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (4)


    Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

    Tech Support: ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (5)

    Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

    Tech support:

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (6)


    Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"

    Customer: "A white one."

    Tech support :

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (7)

    Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"

    Customer: "Pentium."

    Tech support:

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (

    Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

    Tech support :

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (9)

    Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    (10)

    Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

    Tech support:

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (11)

    Customer: "You've got to fix my computer.
    I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

    Tech Support: "What does it say?"

    Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

    Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

    Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

    Tech support :

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (12)

    Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (13)

    Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"

    Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

    Tech Support: "Well?"

    Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

    Tech support:

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (14)

    Best of the Lot

    A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

    Tech: What's the problem?

    User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

    Tech: (keep quite)

    Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

    User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

    Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

    User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

    Tech support:


    10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

    Tech support: (hush hush)

    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

    User: I knew it!

    Tech: Just add the line LOAD NO SMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS .
    Let me know how it goes.


    10 minutes later.


    User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

    Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?


     


    User: MS-DOS 6.22.

    Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NO SMOKE.
    Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.


    1 hour later.


    User: I need a new power supply.

    Tech support: How did you come to that conclusion?

    Tech support: (hush hush)

    User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

    Tech: Then what did he say?

    User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    (15)

    Customer care officer: I need product identification no: right now
    and may I help u in finding it out?

    Cust: sure

    CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

    Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?



  2. #2
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    lol..

  3. #3
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    u made me laugh...lolz very nice....

  4. #4
    leogal
    Guest
    Glad you guys like it......

  5. #5
    Member Array jojo_patty's Avatar
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    LOL those were awesome...

  6. #6
    leogal
    Guest
    Thanks jojo

  7. #7
    ishita kumar
    Guest
    dis is mast....

  8. #8
    leogal
    Guest
    Thanks ishita......

  9. #9
    shalin_99
    Guest
    good one...

  10. #10
    leogal
    Guest
    Thanks shalin

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