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Thread: NEW POLICY: EFFECTIVE FROM JANUARY 2008

  1. #1
    shalin_99
    Guest

    NEW POLICY: EFFECTIVE FROM JANUARY 2008

    NEW POLICY: EFFECTIVE FROM JANUARY 2008

    DRESS CODE:

    It is advised that you come to work according to your salary.
    If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
    If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
    If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

    SICK DAYS:

    We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to a doctor, you are able to come to work.

    ANNUAL LEAVE DAYS

    Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year. They are called Sunday.

    BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:


     


    This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead relatives, friends or co-workers.
    Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
    In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon.
    We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

    TOILET USE:

    Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
    There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls.
    At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.
    After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic Offenders category.
    Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

    LUNCH BREAK:

    Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
    Normal sized people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
    Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

    Thank-you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a Positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.



    THE MANAGEMENT



  2. #2
    unseenforce
    Guest
    hari sadu
    h for hitler
    a for arrogant
    r for rascal
    i for..... idiot
    hahahaha

  3. #3
    shalin_99
    Guest
    thnx

  4. #4
    coolestnapster
    Guest
    looks like a repost not sure...nice ones....never less

    7777

  5. #5
    shalin_99
    Guest
    thnx nap and it is not a repost
    i scrolled all the pages to check it

  6. #6
    D_only_one
    Guest
    Nice one shalin.. yes its not a repost in this forum.. but this is a very common joke as i received it from plenty of my freinds...

  7. #7
    shalin_99
    Guest
    thnx dinesh
    and thnx for clearing the doubt of repost

  8. #8
    beng072488
    Guest
    repost

  9. #9
    shalin_99
    Guest
    i think it is not a repost

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