I was was born to Farbauti and Laufey, two frost giants living in the suburbs of Asgard. In one of my many rages, Odin in one of my many fits of rage due to his erectile dysfunction problems destroyed those suburbs and adopted me who was the only survivor. Odin thought that I reminded him of one of his elder brothers named Lodur. Odin made me a god, but all of the really good godly powers had already been handed out. God of Chaos was left, but I likes to call it change and considers myself a master of Change Management.
I has two step-brothers, Thor, and Baldr who were treated better than I was. Odin always threw parties for Thor and Baldr, but never for me. I was the original red headed step child and was constantly flogged and forced to watch reality television and reruns of Sesame Street and Barney and other PBS shows. After hours of watching an Icelandic Idol marathon I began a mental metamorphosis...
I found that I was quite good at bringing about change. I also found that using change, I could shapeshift into different forms. Even become a horse or woman or some other being. I claims to be a victim of circumstances, often others forcing my hand in things.
I am an upstanding member of the Internet community and had supporting file sharing networks with Lokitorrent, until I claimed the FBI was trying to shut me down and I was collecting money to fight the lawsuit from the MPAA. Later it was found out to be a scam to collect money from the gullable pirates on the Internet. I claimed all I was doing was looting the looters. I later shut down the Lokitorrent site, and went into providing porn on filesharing networks instead.
I helped out in the War on Terra with the appearing/disappearing weapons of mass destruction trick in Iraq that lead to W's missing donuts. I also instructed prison guards on how to interrogate suspected terrorists in Abu Ghraib Prison and instructed them to take pictures. I have been providing George W. Bush with lots of useful advice on how to run the USA and stay in power.
I even found a way to reorganise parts of the south in the USA, esp the red states. It is all part of my urban renewal project.
Around 2004, I underwent a sex change operation to become female to start a singing career to fit in with the glorious divas of the 90's such as Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. I did a body swap with the Lady Siff and left her in an old woman's body. Unfortunately his/her career met its end when the Mighty Thor discovered his brother scheming to destroy the entire state of Oklahoma. I recently underwent another sex change operation to become male again after much prodding from the Jew and personal buddy Brian Michael Dumbass. Lady Siff got her body back and I got back his original body from Hela who kept it safe. I could have just shape shifted into any woman form I wants to, but figured this way was more fun. It really ticked off Thor that his Half-brother Loki was in his girlfriend's body and trying a Diva singing career that would destroy the state of Oklahoma. Asgard was relocated to Oklahoma after Odin did a big war with Surtur the Fire Demon that destroyed Asgard and Thor got the Odin Power and relocated it to Oklahoma. While still in female form, I made a deal with Norman Osborne aka Green Goblin bka Iron Patriot to bring Asgardians to Dr. Doom's nation of Latervia for hunting and stuff. I tricked Thor into killing his grandfather Bor and broke his hammer and got exiled by Balder who took over as King.
In 2008, after being screwed by Marvel Comics and the Republican Party, I rigged the election so that Barrack Obama would win the Presidency. This is because I wanted to be Vice President with John McCain but he picked Sarah Palin instead. A McCain/Loki campaign would have won, but the McCain/Palin campaign failed miserably.
I am well known as the god of Mischief, Discord, Chaos, and Trickery. Actually I am the god of humor and practical jokes, I do the rest of that stuff as side-jobs. Some things that I actually did:
Put a whoopie cushion on Odin's throne.
Put a plastic ice cube with a plastic fly in it in Odin's mead.
Replaced Odin's mead mug with a dribble mug.
Took some dog poop put it in a brown paper bag, set it outside of Odin's door, set it on fire and knocked on the door and ran. Odin come out, saw the fire and stomped on it getting dog poop all over his boots.
Replaced Thor's hammer will a ball peen hammer.
Replaced Odin's Classic Coca Cola with New Coke.
Thou unbeliever dist say "But doesn't all of that make Loki evil?"
Not really, I picked up side-jobs because none of the other gods and goddesses wanted to do it, except Eris and a few others. Anyway Mischief, Discord, Chaos, and Trickery are really parts of Change and Change is good for the universe. Humor and practical jokes as good as well, it keeps everyone on their toes and makes fun of people like Odin who make good targets for practical jokes because they have short tempers and get mad really easy. It is from this that I combined them all to make Change Management, which is really good and useful in the modern corporation. So I am really not evil at all, and is really good.
Vadodara, Gujarat, India, India
I am Loki of Asgard - and I am burdened with glorious purpose
Black Ranger Dino Thunder
I was born 2 get wild,thatz ma style!!!
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