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lalliv
05-08-2007, 09:51 PM
:smt009
Many of us allow others to bully us in a relationship.Be it between a parent and a child, be it between man and a woman,be it between husband and wife.Is that callled love, sacrifice or just wanting to be bullied.Are we being cowards if we dont put up a strong fight or are we compromising so that life goes on peacefully with no major upsets.Does being assertive always help? many of these questions never seem to resolve themselves. is there an answer??????????????? I wonder

knight
05-08-2007, 10:46 PM
I think we can't really take parents, children, husband, wife etc as bullying us. What they would do is crack a joke just to make some fun with us for the moment without degrading our self respect or dignity. I think bullying is if a bunch of co-workers or a group of friends joke and make comments that would humiliate you infront of a crowed or just around them. Fighting back wouldn't help in my opinion as that's what the people who bully you expect. Maybe if we can just change ourselves for the moment or disregard others' comments, it would help. What do you think?

lalliv
05-09-2007, 12:14 PM
:smt001
more then bullying might be its emotional blackmail. many of us get moved and submit to doing things.emotional blackmail is one of the worst ways of getting things done and it certainly leaves a horrible feeling in the person who is manipulated.think about it.might be im wrong
smile and have a good day

knight
05-09-2007, 12:26 PM
I don't think parents does emotional blackmailing but what exactly do you mean here by emotional blackmailing? How about an example?

YAZZIN
05-09-2007, 01:52 PM
hey! baby,i'm not happy about accussing parent for nothing,so be happy with your parents.is that okey?

lalliv
05-09-2007, 10:35 PM
:smt001
hi knight : the simplest and oldest blackmail" is if you get me something ill do this".everyone does it. as people grow older its no longer something material but becomes emotional.the most common one that you hear sick people say is if you stay ill have my medicines.do you realize that these are manipulations that many of us just take for granted and dont make abig deal about but it is manipulation anyway. do you understand what im trying to convey.lets have your opinion.
smile and be happy

lalliv
05-09-2007, 10:39 PM
:smt001
hey yazzin;
Chill man
this is very common in all kinds of relationships and i do love my parents very much so i dont have a problem.
smile and be happy
right

knight
05-10-2007, 09:56 AM
Hey Lalliv, you lost me somewhere...

lalliv
05-10-2007, 12:08 PM
:smt003
hi knight :
thought i d loose you somewhere in my explanations.
smile and dont ponder too much about it

knight
05-10-2007, 12:18 PM
That marks the end of the topic? :smt003

lalliv
05-10-2007, 12:33 PM
:smt003
hey i still feel that emotional blackmail is very common. ok another example from your book is the one with tears. tears and crying is another form of emotional blackmail and most people dont want to see others with tears.they would do anything to stop someone from crying and shedding tears. What say you? now are you able to understand what im trying to say

knight
05-10-2007, 01:32 PM
So trying to stop tears is emotional blackmailing?

lalliv
05-10-2007, 05:07 PM
:smt003
hi knight;
no crying and having tears plays a very important part in emotional backmail. it goes back to what you said before. get it.

knight
05-10-2007, 05:17 PM
It sure did...coz you lost me again :smt003

lalliv
05-10-2007, 09:32 PM
:smt001
might be im just not able to explain properly or is it that understanding in far away galaxy is different.might be the galaxy is so far away that losing you aint so difficult. what say
smile and by happy
look around you and you will eventually ralize what im trying to say.emotional manipulation is omnipresent.just observe carefully :smt003

knight
05-11-2007, 10:40 AM
Hmm...Could be some parts are getting dropped while its being transmitted...LOL

Still I don't see how parents does this but the emotional manipulation I know can happen between lovers when one person use other person's weakness(s) to get what s/he want. Am I getting anywhere closer to what you refer?

knight
05-11-2007, 10:43 AM
On second thought...it could not be it. Originally you referred to bullying someone. Give your thoughts anyway :smt001

lalliv
05-11-2007, 12:26 PM
:smt003 hi knight;
looks like i ve got you thinking hard. manipulation takes place between all relationships. why just between lovers. have you never seen children doing this. they can twist their parents around their little finger.that is manipulation even though it s not strategic planning.parents do it to their kids, kids do it to their parents . lovers do it, it always happens with only relationshipes which mean something to you.
bullying and emotionally blackmailing dont have much difference because ultimately people get hurt.yes or no???????
anyway smile and be happy

knight
05-11-2007, 12:53 PM
Hmm...I've gone through the emotional manipulation but not with parents or I don't mind if parents do I guess. But I don't think its a big deal between parents and children. Then again, I'm not completely aware of what you are referring to still :smt003

lalliv
05-11-2007, 01:03 PM
:smt003
manipulation prevails but the attitude is what counts eventually. when parents or children do it, it is an accepted norm or love or understanding but because it is excused doesnt mean it doesnt exist. thats exactly what i said in the very beginning that we are bullied and manipulated do we jast acccept it or do we fight????????
after this long conversation with you i realized that each reaction depends on the situation prevailing at that point or time and place. thanks
smile dont know whether your smiling but i am.

knight
05-11-2007, 01:27 PM
Well...I think its a personal decision to fight it or no and when and with whom :smt001

As always I smile...see my teeth :smt003 White ya? :smt003 :smt003