anonomous100
01-03-2007, 12:33 PM
A guy goes into a pub and orders a double whisky. He pays up, gulps it down
and looks into his shirt pocket. He then orders another double-whisky, pays,
gulps it down and looks into his shirt pocket again. He orders a third drink
and does the same thing. After the seventh double, he gets up and starts to
stagger out. Curiosity gets the better of the landlord, and he says to the
Guy 'Excuse me, but I noticed that every time you had a drink, you looked
inside your pocket. I was wondering what was in there?' The Guy looks at him
at him for a moment, then slurs, 'well, I keep a picture of my dear wife in
that pocket. Every time I have a drink, I take a look. When she starts
looking good, I go home'.
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This guy was a passionate fishermen, and would always spend the weekend at
the waterside regardless of the weather. One Sunday he headed off to the
riverside as usual. However, it was freezing cold and pouring with rain and,
uncharacteristically, he decided to go home. When he got home, he noticed his
wife was still in bed, so he made a cup of coffee for the two of them, went
up to the bedroom and said, 'Hello darling. I've made some coffee. It's
really dreadful out there, freezing cold and lashing with rain'. 'Yeah', she
said sleepily, 'and that stupid husband of mine went fishing anyway!'
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A guy stumbles home completely plastered. He spends an hour trying to get the
key into the lock, with no success, when a policeman happens to walk by. 'Is
every thing alright sir?' asks the policeman. 'I can't seem to get my key in
the damn door ocifer', slurs the man. The policeman helps him out with the
key, and starts to go his way. 'Wait! wait!' shouts the drunk, 'I really
appreciate it. Let me show you my house!', 'No thank you, sir I'll just be
right on my way', says the policeman. 'I insist' presses the drunk, 'it'll
only take a second, I really want to show you!'. So the policeman agrees, to
keep the peace, and they go inside. They enter the living room. 'There's my
TV, my stereo, and all that', says the man. 'That's nice', replies the
policeman. They go through to the kitchen 'There's my microwave, the new
refrigerator, pretty nice, eh?' boasts the man. 'Lovely' replies the
policeman. Into the kids bedroom, 'those are my two baby boys', 'yes they
look cute'. Finally they get through to the man's bedroom. 'And that's my
wife, oh and that's me next to her'.
and looks into his shirt pocket. He then orders another double-whisky, pays,
gulps it down and looks into his shirt pocket again. He orders a third drink
and does the same thing. After the seventh double, he gets up and starts to
stagger out. Curiosity gets the better of the landlord, and he says to the
Guy 'Excuse me, but I noticed that every time you had a drink, you looked
inside your pocket. I was wondering what was in there?' The Guy looks at him
at him for a moment, then slurs, 'well, I keep a picture of my dear wife in
that pocket. Every time I have a drink, I take a look. When she starts
looking good, I go home'.
----------------------------------------------------------------
This guy was a passionate fishermen, and would always spend the weekend at
the waterside regardless of the weather. One Sunday he headed off to the
riverside as usual. However, it was freezing cold and pouring with rain and,
uncharacteristically, he decided to go home. When he got home, he noticed his
wife was still in bed, so he made a cup of coffee for the two of them, went
up to the bedroom and said, 'Hello darling. I've made some coffee. It's
really dreadful out there, freezing cold and lashing with rain'. 'Yeah', she
said sleepily, 'and that stupid husband of mine went fishing anyway!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy stumbles home completely plastered. He spends an hour trying to get the
key into the lock, with no success, when a policeman happens to walk by. 'Is
every thing alright sir?' asks the policeman. 'I can't seem to get my key in
the damn door ocifer', slurs the man. The policeman helps him out with the
key, and starts to go his way. 'Wait! wait!' shouts the drunk, 'I really
appreciate it. Let me show you my house!', 'No thank you, sir I'll just be
right on my way', says the policeman. 'I insist' presses the drunk, 'it'll
only take a second, I really want to show you!'. So the policeman agrees, to
keep the peace, and they go inside. They enter the living room. 'There's my
TV, my stereo, and all that', says the man. 'That's nice', replies the
policeman. They go through to the kitchen 'There's my microwave, the new
refrigerator, pretty nice, eh?' boasts the man. 'Lovely' replies the
policeman. Into the kids bedroom, 'those are my two baby boys', 'yes they
look cute'. Finally they get through to the man's bedroom. 'And that's my
wife, oh and that's me next to her'.